WHAT IT DO

Here's a little list of things that are currently tight:

1) Major Lazer - "Guns Don't Kill People... Lazers Do"
My boy CT put me up on this just yesterday and it has already changed my week significantly. I found a zipped file of the album on this world-wide-web shit and left it downloading on the computer while I went to the gym. It must have finished by the time I got home because my girlfriend was mysteriously pregnant with a lazer tattooed on her left tit and someone had blown pot smoke into my backpack and gotten all of my homework high. Before I could even say "what the hell" Major Lazer himself announced from my couch that "evryting gon' be ai-re" and continued eating all of my cereal. I would have been mad, but before I had the chance to react he shined my shoes with his dreadlocks and disappeared as soon as the cops showed up. Fucking space-Jamaicans.

2) "Sao Paulo" by Boogie
I ordered this book on Amazon yesterday for 5 measly bucks. I've been a pretty big fan of Hamburger Eyes since I first realized it was a photography zine as well as the condition I always suffer after a long night of drinking tons and tons of beer, and Boogie has always been my personal favorite photographer they regularly feature. The cover of this collection--the completely bare ass of what I'm pretty sure is a transvestite prostitute--promises plenty of the gritty realism that defines his work. My apologies to any homophobic heterosexual males who accidentally got a boner when they saw that image up there, but maybe you need to face the fact that your dick is better prepared to exist in the harsh realities of our world than you are. Speaking of photography, I encourage everyone to check out my boy John Martin's brand new photo blog over at Burdens of the Most Bestest. Dude has consistently taken some of the best photos I've ever seen over the decade that I've known him, and it often bums me out to see him do less than I know he's capable of with his considerable talents. So peep dat, ya'll.

3) Weed.
Yep, it's still on top.

And just to even things out a little bit, here's a brief summary of things that are not so tight this week: Carytown Burgers N' Fries NOT delivering to Jackson Ward (lazy stoners), downloading Gucci Mane albums that are tainted by the insufferable blight of lame-ass "DJ's" announcing their own names 5 times per song, know-it-alls in my Spanish class who actually don't know shit, and girls who don't shave their legs. Please note: those last two often overlap.

Anyway, that's what it do.