Monday, July 27, 2009


Sorry it's been so long since I've made any updates. I'd like to lie and tell you that it's because I've been super busy going to great parties, producing unstoppable club-bangers, typing up revelatory manuscripts and railing endless trim. I'd like to lie and tell you that because it would make me seem really productive & motivated and also because I like to lie. Unfortunately, not a whole lot has been happening in my wonderful world. In an effort to rectify the situation and also to attempt to leave some meager facsimile of metaphorical carved initials of creativity on the slowly rotting tree trunk of culture, I've decided to finally throw together and produce a brand new zine. It's been over 7 years since I did one proper, and if anything my mind has only become more insular and clouded since then, so don't expect great things. But I'd like to believe I am at least capable of keeping the handful of you that read this blog semi-entertained while you sit on a toilet. So "DRACULA" zine is coming. I'm giving myself the next two weeks to write, edit, and piece the entire thing together. Because I'm lazy and because I require the constant encouragement of others to ever take any of my ideas seriously, I'd also like to take this opportunity to welcome any and all submissions for this zine. I don't care what you write about or how you write it, I'll probably include it. I know all of you are smart and funny and know how to write, so don't try coming up with any excuses. Send me a funny story about the weirdest blowjob of your life. Send me a list of your top 10 favorite bestiality scenes from movies. Draw a picture of Pac-man smoking weed in a hang-glider. I don't give a shit; just HELP ME TAKE MYSELF SERIOUSLY.

*photo by Richard Kern, king boner-giver to all perverted hetero males of the world.

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