Monday, May 4, 2009
WATCH MY SHOES
I dunno what else to say about these shoes other than that I finally understand where Webbie is coming from. I've never been the type to give too much of a shit about fashion. I don't like to walk around looking like ass-boogers all the time or anything, but I've never put a ton of thought into shit like seasonal color schemes or limited edition hyper-neon dick massaging sneakers n' shit. But look at those motherfuckers up there and realize with me that they are about to change EVERYTHING. I found these bad boys for $5 at a thrift store in San Francisco and I haven't taken them off since (except for when I'm at work 'cuz fuck spilling grease all over that ice cream). I seriously feel like I could strap them on underneath an outfit made entirely out of wet trash from the street and some other dude's back hair and I could still get a blowjob at a Mouthless Convention. Plus every time I look down I'm reminded that I want a Pepsi and that "throwback" shit is poppin' off right now so no high fructose corn syrup for me! So far I've gotten more compliments for these shoes than I ever got for getting good grades, and within a week of purchasing them some random dimepiece on campus was walking by on her cellphone and told the person on the other end to "hold on a second" so she could look me straight in the eyes and say "I like your shoes" all sexy like a James Bond bitch. Not to get too Juggernaut's helmet about it, but if anything ever happened to these shoes I seriously don't know what the fuck I would do.